Groom's Corner

We’ve noticed a trend: Grooms-to-be are accompanying their fiancées to bridal shows. And they're not being dragged there. They're making decisions and being one half of a powerful relationship. Your wedding is the beginning of a lifelong partnership and the day belongs to both of you. As the groom-who-cares and helps to make the wedding day a reflection of your love, here’s what you can do to plan the big event.

Help notify friends and relatives that you’re engaged. Call your parents, or if you're close by, go see them in person to tell them the news, just as you will with the bride's parents. This is a big occasion. Treat it like one.

Choose your wedding day with your fiancée. Make sure you
take into account your brother's graduation, your parents’ big anniversary celebration and the buddy trip you’ve planned with three of your friends. Working around important dates in the beginning will save a lot of grief later on.

Help your bride research invitations, party favors and reception sites. Taste cakes, check out wines. When there are differences of opinion, learn to compromise, just as your bride-to-be is learning to do.

Do your gift registry together. You may have been cohabiting for years and the two of you may need not just the traditional goodies but things like camping equipment, power tools, help with the honeymoon or donations to your favorite charity. Decide what the two of you want, not just what's been done in the past.

Look good! Order your tux at least three months in advance. Whether you should buy or rent is a personal decision. You may find more occasions than you thought to wear a tux. If you buy, you know it will be fitted to you, will be in great condition and of decent quality. If you decide to rent (which costs about 30-50% of buying a tux), insist on a good tuxedo and proper, tailored fit. Pick up your tux at least a week in advance of the wedding so you can check for stains, missing buttons, holes and whether alterations were actually made.

If your dad needs help with his suit for the wedding, do it. Consider his own style and the style of the wedding. If you both need help, consult your tux supplier.

Pick your groomsmen’s gifts yourself. If you need to have them engraved, allow enough time to do so. And put some thought into the selection. These are your buddies you’re thanking.

Find your bride a meaningful gift. Give it to her the day after your wedding to show how happy you are that you've chosen each other. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it must have personal meaning. You'll get a lot of mileage from that. Plan the honeymoon. Use the Internet or a good travel agent. When you choose, go online and see if you can find any discussions on the place, the cruise, the airline or the location. Make your plans with enough time to spare so that if Plan A doesn’t work, you can go with Plan B.

Have fun. A wedding is a joyous occasion bringing families and friends together to share your bliss. So don't worry. Be happy.