Successful Seating

If you’re having a buffet, a picnic or any other reception that lends itself to informal seating, you’re off the hook. However, with a seated meal, you’ll want seat assignments. If that sounds a lot like first grade, it isn’t. Reception seating plans work for a number of reasons:

1. People like to know where they will be sitting.
2. You can help defuse uncomfortable situations.
3. Your guests will appreciate that you took the time to select where and with whom they should sit.
4. If you’re serving different entrées, the caterer or waitstaff can plan ahead because you’ve already decided where each guest is sitting.

Map It Out

To avoid stress before the wedding, try to complete the seating arrangements a couple of weeks in advance. You can always make small, last minute changes. Begin by dividing your guest list into groups of family, friends, co-workers, etc. Next, make a floor plan of your reception site by drawing circles or rectangles (representing your reception tables) and writing names inside them. Be sure you know how many people will sit comfortably at each table.

Rules Are Made To Be Broken

Once upon a time, the bride and groom sat in the middle of a long head table with the maid of honor next to the groom and the best man next to the bride, then alternating male and female from there.

Remember, however, that this is your wedding and anything goes. You don’t have to sit with your entire wedding party, unless that’s what you want. Many couples let their bridal party sit with their significant others at one or two round tables, and the bridal couple joins one of the tables. Ringbearers, flower girls and other children should always be seated with their parents.

Family Feud

At many weddings, the parents of the bride and groom sit at the same table along with grandparents, siblings not in the wedding party and the officiant and his/her spouse if they attend the reception. If your parents or your groom’s parents don’t get along, you might want to allow each to host their own table of close family and friends.

If your parents are divorced, feel free to separate them. Let your mother host one table with her friends and family; your father, another. Be sure to keep argumentative aunts and stubborn siblings apart, preferably at opposite ends of the room unless the band cancels and you’re looking for free entertainment. Your wedding is a time for joyous celebration, not attempted reconciliations.

It’s All Relative

Consider seating the groom’s family members with your family members—your first cousins with his first cousins, your aunts and uncles with his aunts and uncles. Your family members may welcome the chance to meet your new relatives.

When seating elderly relatives or friends, be considerate. Great-aunt Betsy probably won’t appreciate a perch next to the band!

Mix-n-Match

If you have a lot of unmatched guests, place people together who might be compatible. Try to match them by age, interest or career, and marital status. If you’re going to have some empty space, divide it among a few different tables. It’s better to have two groups of eight than a table with 10 and another with six.

Your Friends

Your high school or college friends will be excited to sit at a table
together. Try to mix your friends with the groom’s friends: You never know who might hit it off. So take your time when creating your seating chart. After all, you could be matching two people who may have a wedding of their own in the near future.